I swear this is a real news story

I know I've made fun of CNN in the past but I wish I had saved it all up for this one glorious occasion. Among its latest news stories CNN now has one called: "Fake Pumpkin Threatens Small Deer's Life" and it is accompanied by the picture above, which looks like something from America's Funniest Home Videos, if that show in fact still exists.[CNN] So you're wondering how CNN could possibly have squeezed an entire story out of this. Well, let me take you through it. First we get just the facts: deer got pumpkin stuck, animal "experts" assessing the situation, has been seen around the 'hood, can't eat and possibly can't drink. Then we move on to the solution: tranquilize, take pumpkin off and release it into wild. Then other relevant points of note: deer will be more visible with giant pumpkin as hunting season begins, everyone trying to do right thing. Anyway can you imagine the guy that was sent out to cover the story of the deer in the gated community with a plastic pumpkin stuck on his head? He was probably hoping to interview some dictator and ask for his favorite recipe, a la hard hitting CNN news and instead he's sipping hot cider with some housewives in khakis and sweater sets and staring at a deer that's about to get shot by a fat guy in plaid.