Fart sells

Apparently, and this is something I did not know but which I am now very concerned about- farting causes global warming. You know because it emits carbon dioxide, blah, blah, etc. and such. Well you may or may not know that the Kyoto Protocol and similar climate change agreements provide CO2 limits for each country and allow countries who use more than their allotted share to buy "credits" from countries who use less. The idea is that, in the end, you reward countries who use less but also get compliance from countries who refuse to decrease their usage. Well anyhow, the point of all this sciency crap is that some people in Australia thought it a good idea to apply this theory to individuals and buy you carbon credits if you feel like you may be using too many. So say, you eat a nice spicy chilly for lunch and emit, let's say, 10 silent farts during your afternoon conference call in the privacy of your office- well, if you pay these companies $10 per fart or something they promise to keep as much CO2 out of the air as you just farted. Not sure how, but that's not the point. I am not making this up- it was in a fairly reputable place. [Bloomberg]

PS: Not sure why I went with the picture of the new Bond- but he does always look like he's in mid-fart so I thought appropriate.

NBA players are tolerant

Fans, friends and fellow tolerancy experts. As I am sure you have all already heard, John Amaechi, former NBA player has come out and publicly said he is gay, becoming the first NBA player active or retired ever to have publicly admitted as such. Obviously, if this announcement were made in the middle of a WNBA game everyone would just say of course and go back to sleep as another spectacular layup is made by a fast charging player who kind of looks like a girl- or enough to qualify at least. Anyway but it was not- it was made by an NBA player in a sport that pretty much considers Kobe Bryant its hero. Anyway so, among the many unadmirable characteristics of NBA players that have made themselves clear during these last few days in response to Amaechis's revalations is the skill with which NBA players attack the English language. I give you- Shavlik Randolp, former Duke player now with the Sixers who said:

"As long as you don’t bring your gayness on me I’m fine. As far as business-wise, I’m sure I could play with him. But I think it would create a little awkwardness in the locker room"

There you have it. All you gays, keep yuor gayness away from Shevlik because if you don't he might unleash a torrent of words that will make you regret you were born.

NBA players are tolerant

Fans, friends and fellow tolerancy experts. As I am sure you have all already heard, John Amaechi, former NBA player has come out and publicly said he is gay, becoming the first NBA player active or retired ever to have publicly admitted as such. Obviously, if this announcement were made in the middle of a WNBA game everyone would just say of course and go back to sleep as another spectacular layup is made by a fast charging player who kind of looks like a girl- or enough to qualify at least. Anyway but it was not- it was made by an NBA player in a sport that pretty much considers Kobe Bryant its hero. Anyway so, among the many unadmirable characteristics of NBA players that have made themselves clear during these last few days in response to Amaechis's revalations is the skill with which NBA players attack the English language. I give you- Shavlik Randolp, former Duke player now with the Sixers who said:

"As long as you don’t bring your gayness on me I’m fine. As far as business-wise, I’m sure I could play with him. But I think it would create a little awkwardness in the locker room"

There you have it. All you gays, keep yuor gayness away from Shevlik because if you don't he might unleash a torrent of words that will make you regret you were born.