Some people think Christmas begins when you decorate the Christmas tree or when stores start putting up colored lights or when the elevator in your building begins playing Christmas music loud enough to make you want to stab yourself with the business end of your blackberry antenna. Me, I think it's Christmas when beer comes out advertising itself as Santa's Butt. It's unclear whether that means that the beer tastes like the butt of a 750 year-old man who has by all accounts worn the same pair of red pants since the beginning of time OR whether the sight of his fat ass is supposed to make you want to reach out for a 6-pack to take to your next family holiday gathering. Anyway, what is clear is that, according to Yahoo News, some guys in Maine want to sell you this beer and the Maine government won't allow it. [Yahoo] Apparently the state reviews between 10-12 thousand beer labels a year and objects to this one because it might appeal to children. Let's pause here for a second. It is actually someone's job to review beer labels for a living. Everyday they go into work and their desk is cluttered NOT with boring-ass documents from projects of 5 yrs. ago BUT with beer labels! Perhaps they have files called "boring labels," or "pornographic labels," or "kids' labels" or "misleadingly identifies beer as tasting good labels." But I digress, the real question here is this- what the hell is wrong anyway with a beer label that may appeal to kids? If a 7 year old kid likes the label, what's he gonna do anyway? It's not as if he can take it up to the register, smile real sweet and pull out 5 years of allowance to pay for it! Honestly, what the hell is wrong with this state? It should be content being known as the only one-syllable state in the union and stop goddamn regulating the beer label industry. Free the beer labelors!!
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Beer tastes like butt
Some people think Christmas begins when you decorate the Christmas tree or when stores start putting up colored lights or when the elevator in your building begins playing Christmas music loud enough to make you want to stab yourself with the business end of your blackberry antenna. Me, I think it's Christmas when beer comes out advertising itself as Santa's Butt. It's unclear whether that means that the beer tastes like the butt of a 750 year-old man who has by all accounts worn the same pair of red pants since the beginning of time OR whether the sight of his fat ass is supposed to make you want to reach out for a 6-pack to take to your next family holiday gathering. Anyway, what is clear is that, according to Yahoo News, some guys in Maine want to sell you this beer and the Maine government won't allow it. [Yahoo] Apparently the state reviews between 10-12 thousand beer labels a year and objects to this one because it might appeal to children. Let's pause here for a second. It is actually someone's job to review beer labels for a living. Everyday they go into work and their desk is cluttered NOT with boring-ass documents from projects of 5 yrs. ago BUT with beer labels! Perhaps they have files called "boring labels," or "pornographic labels," or "kids' labels" or "misleadingly identifies beer as tasting good labels." But I digress, the real question here is this- what the hell is wrong anyway with a beer label that may appeal to kids? If a 7 year old kid likes the label, what's he gonna do anyway? It's not as if he can take it up to the register, smile real sweet and pull out 5 years of allowance to pay for it! Honestly, what the hell is wrong with this state? It should be content being known as the only one-syllable state in the union and stop goddamn regulating the beer label industry. Free the beer labelors!!
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1 comment:
yes! it reminds of that time when mystic pizza came out. the ads looked great, but alas, i was too young.
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